Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord.

Well Nashville’s Gunnar Scott won my heart again tonight. Deacon was struggling and said he felt like Charlie Brown. He said Charlie Brown kept trying to kick that football and somebody kept taking it out from under him. Then the oh sooo fabulous Gunnar Scott responds with isn’t that why everyone loves him, because no matter how many times it happens he never loses hope. Woah now. I’m gonna need a minute to go cry.

…

Ok I’m back. It’s all good. The bible references that we only have to have faith as small as a mustard seed. To be honest, I had to look up what mustard seeds look like because I didn’t even know how small they were. Matthew 13:31-32 says: He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.” Matthew 17:20 says: He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” All we need is just a little bit of faith in You. There is this Mexican proverb on Pinterest that says: “They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.” I want to be like that. I want to be that little mustard seed. Renee Swope said: “I want to be a woman who overcomes obstacles by tackling them in faith instead of tiptoeing around them in fear.” I want to be that kind of woman. I want to be like Charlie Brown and never give up faith, no matter how many times I fall and miss that football. I want to give it all to You, Lord. We used to sing this song in youth group allllllllll the time and I was reminded of it today.

Mark 11:22 says: And Jesus answered saying to them, “Have faith in God.” It doesn’t get simpler than that.

So, that is my prayer today. I pray that I learn from Charlie Brown. I pray that I learn to overcome obstacles by tackling them in faith. I pray that I am a seed for you. I pray that I grow for you. I pray that I lay down my sorrows, my shame, my sickness, my pain, and everything else I have. I pray that I lay down every single thing I have. Thank you for showing me things in different ways. Thank you for allowing me to lay it all down. I pray that I continue to grow closer to you. Thank you for all the joy that comes from laying everything down. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Little girl dreams are bigger than they seem.

I was cleaning out some papers and old notebooks Friday before class and I found a spiral notebook. Inside was a list of things I wanted from my future husband. (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I love lists!) I don’t even know when I wrote it. Probably like two or three years ago. Anyways, here is the list:

1. I want him to go to church with me and hold my hand.

2. When I’m sad, I want him to know me so well that he knows I need to sit and cry. I want him to just hold me in his arms and protect me.

3. When I’m sick, I want him to bring me chicken noodle soup. I want him to let me lay my head in his lap and play with my hair while we watch movies.

4. I want him to understand how important Alpha Gamma Delta is to me and not question it when I want to bring snacks to recruitment training to become an advisor, as long as it doesn’t take away from him or our family.

5. I want him to take me on adventures and go places, but also now the importance of sitting around watching movie marathons.

6. I want him to dance with me, but the cute, funny way and not the weird way. (Literally, that is what I wrote.)

7. I want him to love my terrible singing because it makes him laugh. (Bless his heart, he’s gonna have to find humor it because there is no talent in it.)

8. I want him to know when my eyes change colors.

9. I want him to be a man, but treat me like a partner.

10. I want to make family decisions together and have a joint bank account, but I also want each of us to save a little money in separate accounts for emergencies.

11. I want to have a stable flow of income and not live paycheck to paycheck.

12. I want him to have a big heart. I want him to want to foster a bunch of kids with me.

13. I want him to call me Darlin.

14. I want to be able to laugh with him.

15. I don’t want to feel controlled.

16. I want him to take care of me as much as I will take care of him.

17. I want him to pray with me.

18. I want him to reassure me. (Umm. I know I’m fabulous and all, but picking out clothes is like picking out a personality for the day. It takes time. I will change my mind 154 times. He can just take a lesson from my daddy, just tell me I look good in everything.)

19. I want him to keep me protected and feel safe.

20. I want us both to know how lucky we are to have each other and cherish each other.

21. I want him to be a hard worker.

22. I want him to want to teach our kids the stories in the Bible.

23. I want him to take out the trash and clean my hair out of the drain.

24. I want him to be a strong person in his faith and as a leader of the house.

25. I want him to talk with me during movies and answer my questions and shield me from any scary parts.

26. I want him to take Sunday drives with me. (Sunday’s are important. I want family time after church. I want us all to take a long leisurely drive or go down to lake and go fishing or play football in the back yard or running through the sprinkler after we have big family lunch. I don’t want family time reserved for holidays. I want it every Sunday after church.)

So, this is my prayer. I pray that I keep making lists so when he does come, I’ll be ready and know what I want. I pray that I keep my focus on you. I pray that I keep praying. I pray that I keep learning and growing in my relationship with you. I pray that while I am waiting, I am preparing. I pray that I am preparing my heart. I pray that I guarding it safely.  And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I got an umbrella and I think it’s big enough for the both of us.

I have the honor of planning my chapter’s International Reunion Day this year and the theme is “Strength in Sisterhood.” I could not be more excited for the theme! I learned and witnessed a lot during my time in Alpha Gam, but nothing more than strength!

Mattie Stepanek said: “Unity is strength… when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved.” Strength is showing up. It’s the last sister in the room putting up chairs after chapter. It’s the first one to sign up to play intramurals or dance in a philanthropy competition. It’s the sister that volunteers all week at the hospital and still signs up for that 7am service walk on Saturday morning. It’s the sister with the 4.0 gpa helping her little with her freshman math class. It’s the sister that takes 18 hours and an EC office. It’s the sister who paints the sheet sign until all hours of the night and still makes sure it’s hung up the next day. It’s the sister that makes you feel welcome every single time you enter the house. It’s the sister that never misses a meeting. It’s the sister that will text you good luck on your test day. It’s the sister that is always taking care of everyone else. It’s the sister who is always cleaning the chapter room without anyone ever even knowing. It’s the sister that forgave you for hurting her feelings. It’s the sister handing you tissues at a funeral. It’s the sister handing you tissues on your wedding day. It’s the sister who showed you it’s ok to be vulnerable and guarded your secrets safely. It’s the leadership consultant that makes every single member see their importance in the chapter. It’s the advisor that dedicates so much of her time and energy just to see the chapter thrive. It’s the little, unremembered acts of kindness that make the biggest impact.

Eleanor Roosevelt said: “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water.” That’s why I chose Spot of Tea as the place to hold our IRD celebration. Strength is showing up in the tough times too. Life is rough sometimes and we all have storms to go through in every single phase of our lives. Strength is who we were, who we are, and who we’re becoming. Strength is the sister that holds your hand through it all. It’s the sister who knows when to give you space and when to hold on tighter. It’s the sister that just knows when you need a hug. It’s the sister that was there through the good, the bad, and all the in-between. I saw strength in every single sister as a collegian and now I have the privilege to see it in my sisters as an alum. “We stuck together, no matter the weather and that ain’t gonna change.”

So, this is my prayer today. I pray for my sisters all around the world that are celebrating IRD. I pray for my sisters from my chapter and all the other chapters. I pray that they see their strength. I pray they only grow stronger. Thank you for leading me to these women. Thank you for putting them into my life. Thank you the good times and the bad. Thank you for the storms and all they taught me. Thank you for sisters who take on the rain for me. Thank you for sisters who face the wind with me. Thank you for allowing them to teach me how to be a beautiful and purposeful woman. Thank you for allowing them to teach me how to be a strong woman. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Here I am, stuck in the middle with You.

I have been catching up on last season of The Voice and decided to watch one episode before I went to bed. At the very end of the episode as Taylor John Williams was getting ready for his song, Qwen asked him what line he related to the most. He responded with “stuck in the middle with you” because when his parents went through a divorce and he spent most of his time with his grandmother. I immediately thought of the song differently. I don’t relate to his story specifically because my parents just celebrated the 30th anniversary of their first date. I do, however, relate to the line of the song that he did. Life is hard and messy sometimes. I get stuck in the middle and I can’t seem to fix any of it. Which is a huge problem for me because I am a fixer, it’s what I do. I evaluate all sides of the problem and then get to the root of it and fix it. I was just talking to my dad and my person about this the other day. I just want to make things better, but there isn’t anything I can do sometimes. This week is one of those times. I have no control over the situation. I’m not alone though. You’re here with me. No matter what I’m facing or what I’m going through.

Proverbs 29:11 says: A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. Other translations say: Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back. Growing up in the South, we don’t hide our crazy, we put it on the front porch and display it for all the neighbors. Then the neighbors run and tell everybody down the block. I thought this type of stuff was just while we were in middle and high school and that at some point we were supposed to grow out of it. Truth is, we don’t. I realized in college, there is drama all the way from childhood to the very end. I’ve learned that I don’t have to participate though. I don’t have to listen to gossip. I don’t have to be actively involved in the mess. There are always going to be 15 sides to every story and there is never going to be a solution that makes everyone happy. There are always going to be people that make mountains out of mow-hills. There are always going to be people stirring the pot and riling things up. There are always going to be people pointing fingers and dodging the blame. There are always going to be people rooting for you to fail.

“Our reaction to a situation literally has the power to change the situation itself.” James 1:19 says: This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. I’ve seen people act out of anger a lot and I just don’t think it helps anything. It doesn’t fix the issue, it just adds to it. “A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret.” I’ve also seen people literally talk themselves into a brick wall. I’ve done it a couple of times myself. I’ve learned that the fastest answer isn’t always the right one. “Direction is so much more important than speed. Many are going nowhere fast.” There’s this quote that says: “The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” Ok, You’ve got me. I’m ready to listen.

So, this is my prayer today. I pray that I stop talking and start listening. I pray that I keep learning to slow down and follow your direction. I pray that I continue to work on my reaction. I pray that I keep coming to you. I pray that I give it all to you. Lord, I can’t handle this on my own. Where I am weak, you are strong. Where I am not enough, you are more than enough. Lord, I’m bringing it all to you. Lord, prepare my heart. I pray that you change me. I pray that you move me. I pray that you guide me. I pray that you direct me. Thank you for being with me through it all. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I am right here in Your hands.

This week’s assignment is search engine optimization. We were asked how we were going to use SEO for the website we’re creating. I plan to use SEO through the 5 SEO Strategies. The ones I am focusing on the most are “#1 Get Quality Links,” “#3 Set a Canonical Url,” and “#5 Responsive Design.” I have already created the url which is my full name so, when my name is searched for then my website portfolio will show up. I have been working on my design also, to make sure it is usable on different screens. The biggest way I am going to use SEO is through my links. Almost every page on my online portfolio has links to something I’m doing, whether it’s my blog page or social media or my LinkedIn account. We were also asked if there were disadvantages to this. With SEO, everything is connected and easily found, which can help keep me honest because everything I do is connected. That can be a scary thought, but it can also be a blessing.

It’s kinda funny that we’re discussing search engine optimization this week because I have been using it all week to find new blogs to read and this morning one found me. I woke up to my phone buzzing because I had a new follower so, as usual I went to go look at her blog too. Whether she found my blog through SEO and tags for Colton Dixon or Lysa Terkeurst, I’m glad she stumbled upon my blog because I was so encouraged reading hers too. Whether it’s because we have a shared love for Colton Dixon music or because she’s starting a Lysa Terkeurst bible study and I just finished one, I quickly realized that we have a lot in common. We had been through some of the same stuff. Last year, we both lost people we loved. She found a new relationship with You through it all and I found an old one. She was scared to go to church alone and so was I a few months ago. I have been in her shoes, waiting in that car, and gathering up the courage to get out and go inside. What I found inside was well worth the trip though. I found a group of people to hold me accountable, to challenge me, to encourage me, to strengthen me, to lead me to You. I have also had a professor who wasn’t a Christian and he let everyone know it. Although, I never got asked to raise my hand for my beliefs, I am really proud of her for raising hers. I can understand her and how she feels for people. I am the same way. I am not a sympathetic person, I’m empathetic. I feel what others feel. This can be a blessing and a curse. When someone comes to with good news, I am like the best person to come to because I can share in that joy with them. I can be just as happy for them as I would be for me, if not, more so. This can also be rough sometimes. She’s right and I can totally relate when she said it was a lot of weight to carry. What I’m learning this year is that You are already carrying that weight for us and we don’t have to hold onto it. Not only will You carry that hurt, but You will carry us.

I woke up this morning with my phone buzzing and Alan Jackson singing What A Friend We Have In Jesus on Pandora. You never ceases to amaze me.

“What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!”

So, this is my prayer today. I pray for her. I pray that she continues to grow in her relationship with you. I pray for healing for her loss. I pray that she is encouraged and supported at her new church. I pray that she learns a lot from her bible study from Lysa Terkeurst. I pray that Colton Dixon’s songs keep speaking to her. I pray that she continues to see the beauty in feeling what others feel. Thank you for your encouragement this morning. Thank you for leading me. Thank you for allowing me to come to you in prayer. Thank you for listening. Thank you for everything you’ve done and will do. I pray that I take Calling Glory’s song with me this week. Thank you for the plan that is bigger than my past. Thank you for carrying me. Thank you for speaking to my heart. I pray that I continue to grow in my relationship with you too. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Now let the truth of this promise speak louder than the lies.

I prayed about a quote from Lysa Terkeurst a week or two ago that said: “As long as I daily make the choice to be guided by His truth, He replaces my hollowness with a wholeness of love that has no gaps.” But what does that mean “no gaps?”

To be honest, I have never been in love. I have no idea what true love is. I’ve had “crushes” and I’ve liked guys before, but the most that ever came out of it was friendship. I have confused friendship for love a few more times than I would care to admit, but I have never been truly in love. Love is completely out of my comfort zone. It’s out of my element. I have watched the movies, read the books, listened to the songs, had countless discussions, and done all the research, but I’ve never felt it. So, it comes to no surprise to me that I don’t understand love. I can’t comprehend it.

A lot of the love I have known is an if/then love. “If you do this or if you act like this then I’ll love you. If you act like this or if you do this then I won’t love you.” Unconditional love is a completely foreign concept to me. Plus, I am terrible at receiving things like love and even gifts. It’s not that I’m not grateful, it’s that I feel like I have to earn it or I’m not worthy of it.

Thank goodness, You’re love isn’t like that. I don’t have to earn it. It’s not an if/then thing. Whether I ever completely understand it or not, it’s there. Whether I ever realize the full definition of unconditional, it’s there. Whether I ever grasp the depth of You love, it’s there. Your love has no gaps. It is not changing. It is not ceasing. It is not failing. It is not gonna slow down over time. It is never going to end. There isn’t anything I can do to stop it and there isn’t anything I can do to make You love me more. It is the realest and most perfect thing that we have.

Last week, at my first Girl’s Night with church, we were asked what was holding us back from You. We were asked to write it on a piece of paper and lay it down, then take up our crosses. Matthew 16:24 says: Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. My mama used to tell me that I had a damsel in distress disorder. I wanted my Disney princess moment. I wanted the hero or prince to show up and save me. When I was younger, I actually wanted bad things to happen to me so, I could be rescued. Somehow over the years I created this need to hold onto past hurt and my victim card. I don’t need it anymore though because You saved me. You rescued me. You chose me. You love me. You love me with a kind a real, pure, intentional, unchangeable love.

I read something on Wednesday that believers are going to be asked “Did you believe that I loved you? That I desired you? That I waited for you day after day? That I longed to hear the sound of your voice?” It said: “The real believers will respond and say ‘I believer in your love. And I tried to shape my life as a response to it.'”

So, that is my prayer today. I pray that I lay my hurt and struggle down. I pray that I let go of that need to hold on. I pray that I take up my cross for you. I pray that because you love me that I learn to love others the way you love me. I pray that I share your love with everyone around me. I pray that I accept the love you have for me. Thank you for loving me so deeply, intentionally, purely, unconditionally, and unchangeable. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for creating and making me. Thank you for giving me life and a purpose. Thank you for never leaving me. Thank you for loving me with no gaps. I pray that because of your love that I learn to live differently. I pray that I am changed. I pray that because you love me that I love more, give more, do more. I pray that I share your mercy and grace with those around me. I pray that I shape my life as a response to your love. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Lord, You fix me.

Ok so, Nashville is finallyyyy coming back to TeamScarlettandGunnar! I’ve been ready since Gunnar sang It Ain’t Yours To Throw Away to Scarlett. I’ve thought about that song all year and how we are just vessels for You. What I originally thought that meant was we were like cups that needed to be filled by You. I realized it’s sooo much more than that. Last month, I realized we’re like cars and You are the mechanic. So, this morning I came to the conclusion that maybe the church is the gas station and all of us need to be filled. Some of us just need to be topped off. Some of us are running on empty and in desperate need of You. I tried to figure out where I was in all of that and to be honest, I’m all over the place this year. This time last year, I thought I was running on empty and things just got worse. I was completely running on fumes. I’m learning to fill up my car daily now. I’m learning to come to You a lot sooner than before. I’m learning to take responsibility for my actions and my vessel. I’m learning to take care of my vessel and bring it to You before the breakdown.

Rascal Flatts has this new song that my little sings with me. It’s totes a love song, but maybe that’s the point. This year, I’ve been learning to give You my heart. I’ve been learning how to be found in You. I’ve been learning how to be filled by You. I mean, as much as I want a relationship and I want to meet the man You made for me, he can’t fix me, only You can. So, Lord, I’m singing this to You and we will just skip that line about the sexy clown because btdubbs clowns are not sexy anyways, they’re kinda scary.

This weekend, I watched Ragamuffin with my family. It was about Rich Mullins, who I grew up listening to. I mean, I jammed out to Awesome God and Sometimes By Step. Honestly, I had no idea how dark the movie was going to be, but then again, sometimes life has to be dark so, we can see Your light shining through all of it. In the movie, Rich Mullins was unhappy with the church because of the hypocrites and judging Christians and the fake perfection. He said: “I never knew why going to church made you a hypocrite. They’d say because you go to church and you’re all “Holy, Holy, Holy” for two or three hours, and then you go home and sin. I’d say “exactly!” For two or three hours you’re doing pretty good! Maybe the problem isn’t that you go to church, maybe the problem is that you go home! I never understood why going to church made you a hypocrite either, because nobody goes to church because they’re perfect. If you’ve got it all together, you don’t need to go. You can go jogging with all the other perfect people on Sunday morning. Every time you go to church, you’re confessing again to yourself, to your family, to the people you pass on the way there, to the people who will greet you there, that you don’t have it all together. And that you need their support. You need their direction. You need some accountability, you need some help.” To be honest, I heard that a lot as a kid. Maybe it was true. Maybe each generation needs a revolution of some sort. I think the next generation did a good job of repairing that reputation or at least trying to. While we still get the lines blurred sometimes from helping and judging, we are at least trying and getting better at it. I think we just needed to learn how to come to people with care in a confrontation. We needed to learn how to come to people out of love. I think we’ve also learned how to be honest with our own stumbles and see the beauty in asking for Your grace. I think we still have a long way to go as Christians. I think now we’re scared to go out into the world like You called us to because we’re so afraid of becoming that old perception of Christians. I think we got timid because we feel inadequate. The thing is, we weren’t called because we were enough or we were worthy. We were called because You are. I heard it explained once that if we had the cure to cancer would we share it? Well, of course we would. Ok, so, we have the answer to Hell and life after death. Now what are we gonna do with it? One of the first lines in the movie is what got me. Rich Mullins said: “I am a Christian, not because someone explained the nuts and bolts of Christianity, but because there were people willing to be nuts and bolts.” Woah now. That’s deep.

So, this is my prayer today. I pray for my vessel, my car. I pray that I am only filled with you. I pray that you fix me. I pray that I come to you more frequently. I pray that you guide me and lead me. I pray that I learn how to become the nuts and bolts. I pray that I learn how to go out into the world and share your glory. I pray that I use all the gifts and talents you gave me for your glory. Thank you for putting people in my life to hold me accountable, to direct me, to support me, and to help me. Thank you for like Gunnar sings that you gave me something special. I pray that I take all I’ve learned with me. I pray that I keep learning. Thank you for teaching me and guiding me. Thank you for being my mechanic. Thank you for like Rascal Flatts sings that when I’m lost, you’re the map’s missin’ page. And when I’m shakin’, you’re steady like stone. And when I’m flat, you’re air for the tire. Lord, you fix me. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I wanna speak Your love not just another noise.

This week’s assignment was on security and privacy, but with everything linked together nowadays do we even have any privacy? I mean, practically every online account I have is linked to my Facebook. We were asked how this would affect our careers. I think it’s already started. I think employers look at our Facebook activity. I think they look at the social media footprint we leave. I think they have a lot more research on us before the job interview even starts.

One of the articles we were asked to read talked about our digital footprints and how if we are in unfortunate news stories or have messy court cases or have arrest records then those things can easily be found and we are reminded of them much more nowadays. Thankfully, I don’t really have to worry about that. I don’t really have anything except maybe a speeding ticket from three years ago, but let’s not talk about driving school. It wasn’t fun and I learned my lesson. I also learned that yellow speed signs are warning signs and are not regulatory, so that’s fun! The advice the article gave was to Google yourself and to start a LinkedIn account. Check and Check. The next thing it says to do is check your Facebook security settings and watch what your friends tagged you in. I never really changed my setting back from Sorority Recruitment so, my settings are pretty tight and you can’t even find me when you search me still. However, I probably should watch what my friends tag me more closely. The last bit of advice was to get another website to track your digital footprint and delete it. Which honestly, sometimes sounds enticing. Having this entire history on the internet is scary. I mean, no one wants to see the pictures on my MySpace account from when I was like 12. I had way too many duck faces, peace signs, and selfies. Social media can do a lot of good though. It’s helped me be more conscious of my words. It’s helped me be more conscious of those around me. It’s made me want to donate to causes and impact my world. It’s made me aware of a lot more causes and charities. It’s also helped me maintain long distance friendships.

The second article is more about data breaches and how to protect yourself. The advice it gives is: “1. Don’t Reuse Passwords. 2. Set Up Two-Factor Authentication. 3. Use A Password Manager.” I probably should pay attention to this advice because I’m not good at it. My mother is though. She has the most intense secretive crazy passwords I’ve ever heard of. They’re like the letters to phrases and numbers thrown in and it’s just nuts! I will never understand how she comes up with those.

We also watched a Ted Talk and it was pretty scary how easily they could take that Facebook information and face recognition system to find out our social security numbers and like intense stuff! The next Ted Talk was about our last post after we die. It talked about this guy had his friend post this one final blog post after his battle with cancer ended and turned his blog from active to archives. That really got me thinking about what I say or post could be my last at any point in time. The talk talked about this service that lets you create one last Facebook for after you die. I think that caught my attention and how I want to be careful what I post because it could be my last. I want everything I do and say to point back to You.

 

So, here is my prayer today. I pray that I protect my digital footprint. I pray that I watch what I post, what my friends tag me in, and everything I do online. I pray you start a fire in my heart. I pray you fan the flames. I pray that guide me. I pray that I protect the words I say. I pray I protect my twitter feed and pinterest board too. I pray that everything I do points back to you. I pray that I am more aware of it and cautious of it.  And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I hope you dance.

There is an article going around called: “10 Ways Your Little Is Actually like Your Child.” I saw the article a few months ago and immediately knew it was true. It was on my newsfeed again today and I’ve been thinking about my littles this week something fierce so, I thought I would pray for them today.

They have impacted my life so much and brought me so much joy! I literally can’t even imagine my life without them. They have become a part of me. Here are the 10 ways that the article describes:

1. “You enjoy spoiling her.”

Trueeeeeee. I spent months saving and shopping and crafting to make sure they were taken care of during I-Week. I still love spoiling them! For Diamond, it was her birthdays. I made sure her door was decorated every year and that she knew she was loved. For Katie, it’s my time. I know she values the little things so, I try to set aside time each day to talk to her or spend time with her. I want her to always know I’m there. For Avery and Alecia, it was their I-Week baskets. I crafted out the wazoo! I think I literally had like 10-12 canvas paintings for each of them. I wanted them to know that I loved them and that they were important to me.

2. “You’re protective over her.”

One of the best things my big did for me was to protect me. From literally everything. She completely took care of me so, I tried to pass that protection along to my littles.

3. “You give her what she wants.”

“If she wants to borrow anything, it’s hers. It’s like everything you own might as well be hers too. If she needs a favor, you go out of your way to do it for her.”

4. “You’re responsible for her behavior.”

Becoming a big is a tough job sometimes. My big was there to catch me when I fell and help me learn from my mistakes so, I hope I did that too. Every now and then I’ll have these moments like Rodney Atkins and I’ll start changing the lyrics and singing She’s mine.

I yelled she’s mine that one
Got a wild-hair side and then some
It’s no surprise what she’s done
And I’ll take the blame
And claim her every time
Yeah, she’s mine and she’ll always be
The best thing that ever happened to me
You can’t turn it off like electricity
I love her unconditionally
I’ll take the blame
And claim her every time
Yeah, y’all, she’s mine
I thank God, she’s mine

5. “Your relationship is judgment-free.”

I tried to do my best to have open, honest relationships with my littles. For Kristin, it was pref night. I have literally never had a pref night like that one. I don’t even know how it happened, but I gave her a little part of me that night. We poured our hearts out and literally cried. She said she felt like God was leading her to Alpha Gam and it was all I could do not to claim her as my little right there and then!

6. “You mentor her.”

“Any tips and tricks that have helped you get by in college, you want to share with her. You want her to know all of the shortcuts, all of the dos and don’ts, and all of the secrets you never knew. You want to warn her about every mistake that you made and learned from. Anything you can possibly help her with, you do.” I tried to share my experience with them as much as possible and let them learn on their own at the same time. I wanted them to have the best experience possible.

7. “You show her off.”

“You’re actually like that mom that brags about her child to all the other moms.” Yes, I am. I am so deeply proud to call my littles, mine. I have invested in them and cherished them. I want everyone to see the potential I see in them. They’re fabulous and everyone should know just how fabulous they are.

8. “You feel for her.”

“When she’s happy, you’re happy. When she’s upset, you’re upset. You hate to see her going through a hard time and it hurts you just as much as it hurts her. If she’s down, you do whatever you can to cheer her up. Her happiness is just as important to you as your own.”

9. “You listen and give advice.”

“It is almost maternal in the way that you offer your advice.” I have tried to always be there to listen to them. I want them to know they can come to me with anything and everything. Nothing is too big or too small. Keith Urban and Eric Church have this new song that I completely loveeeee that explains it.

“Raise em’ up
You’ve got a voice, you’ve got a choice
Go make some noise
Don’t ever let em’ tell you
Who you are”

10. “You love her like family.”

“No matter what she does, you will always love her.” I may not have raised them, but I am so thankful for the people that did. I hope I have helped them as much as my big helped me. I hope they know they are loved and important. They are gonna change the world someday and I so thankful to be able to witness it.

So, that is my prayer today. I pray they know they are loved. I pray they know how special they are. I pray they know how smart, generous, kind, thoughtful, talented, and amazing they are. I pray that we only get to know each other more in the coming years. I pray they love their time in Alpha Gam as much as I did. I pray they learn a lot and grow as much as possible. I pray you protect them and guide them. Thank you for putting them in my life. Thank you making them the people they are today. It’s been my honor to be their big and I pray they know just how much it means to me to be their big. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.