Lord, You fix me.

Ok so, Nashville is finallyyyy coming back to TeamScarlettandGunnar! I’ve been ready since Gunnar sang It Ain’t Yours To Throw Away to Scarlett. I’ve thought about that song all year and how we are just vessels for You. What I originally thought that meant was we were like cups that needed to be filled by You. I realized it’s sooo much more than that. Last month, I realized we’re like cars and You are the mechanic. So, this morning I came to the conclusion that maybe the church is the gas station and all of us need to be filled. Some of us just need to be topped off. Some of us are running on empty and in desperate need of You. I tried to figure out where I was in all of that and to be honest, I’m all over the place this year. This time last year, I thought I was running on empty and things just got worse. I was completely running on fumes. I’m learning to fill up my car daily now. I’m learning to come to You a lot sooner than before. I’m learning to take responsibility for my actions and my vessel. I’m learning to take care of my vessel and bring it to You before the breakdown.

Rascal Flatts has this new song that my little sings with me. It’s totes a love song, but maybe that’s the point. This year, I’ve been learning to give You my heart. I’ve been learning how to be found in You. I’ve been learning how to be filled by You. I mean, as much as I want a relationship and I want to meet the man You made for me, he can’t fix me, only You can. So, Lord, I’m singing this to You and we will just skip that line about the sexy clown because btdubbs clowns are not sexy anyways, they’re kinda scary.

This weekend, I watched Ragamuffin with my family. It was about Rich Mullins, who I grew up listening to. I mean, I jammed out to Awesome God and Sometimes By Step. Honestly, I had no idea how dark the movie was going to be, but then again, sometimes life has to be dark so, we can see Your light shining through all of it. In the movie, Rich Mullins was unhappy with the church because of the hypocrites and judging Christians and the fake perfection. He said: “I never knew why going to church made you a hypocrite. They’d say because you go to church and you’re all “Holy, Holy, Holy” for two or three hours, and then you go home and sin. I’d say “exactly!” For two or three hours you’re doing pretty good! Maybe the problem isn’t that you go to church, maybe the problem is that you go home! I never understood why going to church made you a hypocrite either, because nobody goes to church because they’re perfect. If you’ve got it all together, you don’t need to go. You can go jogging with all the other perfect people on Sunday morning. Every time you go to church, you’re confessing again to yourself, to your family, to the people you pass on the way there, to the people who will greet you there, that you don’t have it all together. And that you need their support. You need their direction. You need some accountability, you need some help.” To be honest, I heard that a lot as a kid. Maybe it was true. Maybe each generation needs a revolution of some sort. I think the next generation did a good job of repairing that reputation or at least trying to. While we still get the lines blurred sometimes from helping and judging, we are at least trying and getting better at it. I think we just needed to learn how to come to people with care in a confrontation. We needed to learn how to come to people out of love. I think we’ve also learned how to be honest with our own stumbles and see the beauty in asking for Your grace. I think we still have a long way to go as Christians. I think now we’re scared to go out into the world like You called us to because we’re so afraid of becoming that old perception of Christians. I think we got timid because we feel inadequate. The thing is, we weren’t called because we were enough or we were worthy. We were called because You are. I heard it explained once that if we had the cure to cancer would we share it? Well, of course we would. Ok, so, we have the answer to Hell and life after death. Now what are we gonna do with it? One of the first lines in the movie is what got me. Rich Mullins said: “I am a Christian, not because someone explained the nuts and bolts of Christianity, but because there were people willing to be nuts and bolts.” Woah now. That’s deep.

So, this is my prayer today. I pray for my vessel, my car. I pray that I am only filled with you. I pray that you fix me. I pray that I come to you more frequently. I pray that you guide me and lead me. I pray that I learn how to become the nuts and bolts. I pray that I learn how to go out into the world and share your glory. I pray that I use all the gifts and talents you gave me for your glory. Thank you for putting people in my life to hold me accountable, to direct me, to support me, and to help me. Thank you for like Gunnar sings that you gave me something special. I pray that I take all I’ve learned with me. I pray that I keep learning. Thank you for teaching me and guiding me. Thank you for being my mechanic. Thank you for like Rascal Flatts sings that when I’m lost, you’re the map’s missin’ page. And when I’m shakin’, you’re steady like stone. And when I’m flat, you’re air for the tire. Lord, you fix me. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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