Someone asked me if I was getting fed when I was leading. I thought it was a funny question because my first thought was naw, fam, I don’t do this to feed me, I do this to point them to You, God, to show them how to feed themselves. It’s not anyone’s job to feed me or my job to feed anyone else. I can feed myself, spiritually, just like I do otherwise. (I ain’t doing so hot at the otherwise, ya girl has been eating too much ice cream during this quarantine, but that’s another story!) I listen to sermons online and open the Word myself. I read devotion books and on my phone. And I should most definitely do more of those things. I should be spending as much time in Your presence as I possibly can. I try to study even more when I’m leading because I want to be prepared. But If they are depending on me to feed them, I make a terrible You, I will never be able to fill them. And blessssss, I sure do get it wrong sometimes. The only one I trust to fill me is You, Father. Matthew 6:25-27 says: Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If I trust You to fill my belly and clothe me, why in the world wouldn’t I trust You to fill me spiritually? It’s my job to go to You, as often as I can.
I like leading Bible studies because I like the community time. I like seeing my people. I like talking about You and pointing others to You. I want to be a mirror that reflects more You than me. Take me out of the whole thing, it ain’t about me or what I’m doing. Let it be about You. Don’t let me cause disruption or be a distraction from the cross. You are the whole reason we’re here. Matthew 5:41 says: And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Lord, I just want be like You. I want to go where You send me. I want to go the extra mile. I want to go farther than I think possible. I want to help those around me. I want to turn the other cheek when offended. I want to give the shirt off my back and my jacket too. I want do what You tell me. I want to give 10% of my money and of my time, but I also want to give so much that I lose track of how much. I want to forgive 70×70, but I wanna lose track of that too. My life is Yours.
My devotion last week said: “Prayer is far less about making God more aware of your life, and far more about making your life more aware of Him.” That’ll preach.
So, this is my prayer today. I thought I was praying about one thing and as usual you did more talking and I did some listening. I pray that I stop all that worryin, about what people think of me and about not doing enough or doing too much, all that nonsense. Lord, I just wanna spend time with you. I just wanna worship you. I wanna serve you. I wanna point others to you. I can’t save anybody anymore than I can save myself. Lord, put me in my place. Father, remove my foolish pride. I pray you take away my distractions and don’t let me distract anyone either. I pray I stop complaining and realize how blessed I am. Today is the day you made and I will rejoice and be glad in it. It’s a good day to be here livin. Soakin up every single minute I’m given. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.