I feel the stillness even when it isn’t.

There was this line in my textbook that I related to, much more than I would like to admit: “…a self-protective mechanism to keep people and risks at bay.” Ohh, stawppp. I used to do that. I used to guard every part of me to keep people and risks away. Then Newsong dropped their new single and the opening line is: “stacking stones around your heart, trying to hide from who you are…”

A friend reminded me today not to feel hurt by others because they don’t even know me, like really know me. I remembered my thankful rock and I started to feel thankful for who I am, who I really am.

I am His. Before I am ever anyone else’s.

I worship with every inch of soul in car jam sessions.

I am a prayer warrior.

I dance. And more importantly, my heart dances for You.

I am redeemed, forgiven, and set free.

I make intentional choices.

I pursue You, Lord with every fiber of my being.

I am meek. I have strength under control. I respond to criticism with gentleness.

I am a peace maker.

I stand upon the rock.

I desire the Truth.

I have been through flood and fire. And I have never been alone.

I have been through life altering darkness and remained a seeker of the light.

I ran out of the grave. I look for the ways out.

I have received grace.

I have nothing to give anyone, but Jesus.

Yes, I make mistakes. No, I am not perfect, by far. Lauren Gaskill said: “the Jesus inside me is stronger than the darkness that threatens to overtake me.” 

I have nothing to give anyone, but Jesus. And that is more than enough. Abba.

So, here is my prayer today. I pray that I remember I am already loved. I pray I remember Heaven’s got a hand on me. I pray I remember that Heaven is pulling for me. I pray I remember that you adore me. I pray I remember nothing can separate me. I pray I remember you’ll never give me up. I pray I remember I am not who I was. I pray I remember I am made new. Lord, thank you. I pray for my soul ambitions: to pull chairs up to the table, to bring you glory, and to be a mirror that reflects your light. I pray that I set my hands and feet in motion, leading others to you. I pray that I do more than attend church, I pray I am the church. I pray that I am Christ-like. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.