Why do people feel the need to underestimate me when they don’t even know me? Like they don’t know anything about me but they tell me I’m not good enough. I am so exhausted and tired of people making judgments about what kind of person I am. Everyone has their own path to go down and their own story to tell. I have a resume a mile long with why I am fully capable of making my dreams come true. I am strong enough and work hard enough to get where I want to go. I don’t need anyone else’s approval to live my life. I just need you, God. You made me. You don’t do anything without reason. There is a purpose for every hair on my head. There is a purpose for my every strength, my every flaw, my every word and thought. You made me just the way you wanted. You made me with intentional purpose.
“So I wanna say thank you
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter”
Every time this happens I start to think maybe they are right and I doubt myself, if only for a minute because I know with you, Lord, I can do anything. You lift me up every time they knock me down. I have always been told that if you want to see change in the world, you have to go out and be the change. I am trying so hard so make a change and to bring glory to you but sometimes it feels like I will never be good enough. I heard this story one time that taught me that maybe I am just a seed planter; that I am not the one who gets to see the flower bloom but my job is important. Maybe it’s not about me. Maybe I am just a seed planter and you have a much bigger plan than I can even imagine.
“Every move I make
Every move I make, I make in You
You make me move Jesus
Every breath I take I breathe in You
Every step I take, I take in You
You find my way Jesus
Every breath I take I breathe in You”
So, this is my prayer today. I pray that I keep my eyes focused on you. I pray that I remember that I am your child no matter what anyone else says. I pray “every move I make in you.” I pray that you keep a hand on my life and lead me where you want. I pray I remember that I am a work in progress and that you are molding me. I pray that you keep working on me. I pray for strength and endurance. I pray that you keep “making me a fighter.” I pray that you keep reminding me that your plan is bigger. I pray that you use me. I pray that you keep me grounded. Thank you for making me who I am. I appreciate all you gave to me. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
This time last year, Christopher and I were calling each other everyday. We were making plans. At the time, we felt invincible, like we could do anything. We sat up for hours just talking about our pasts and our futures. I had no idea how much everything was going to change in just a year. Now I am starting the new semester without him.
The past year broke me, but you were with me through everything. You were with me for way too many funerals. You were there when I lost a friend that helped me change my major and she helped impact my life without even knowing it. You were there a month later when I lost one of the best people I’ve ever known. Two months later you were with me again at my Grandma’s funeral. My family always picked on me that I was Grandma’s favorite and I didn’t realize how much that would mean to me now. You were with me when I was burnt out and felt completely defeated and worthless. You were with me when I let opportunities go and friends move on without me. You were there when I had to fight to make it through the day. I faced more than I thought possible. Every time I thought I couldn’t move forward I was reminded that “you never let go.”
“When waters rise
And hope takes flight
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
You I know
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go”
I also realized you were there for all the good times. You were there when I got new amazing jobs with wonderful people. You were there when I was elected President. You were there when my brother graduated. You were there when my best friend got engaged and my other best friend celebrated her first wedding anniversary. You were with me when I had my highest semester gpa since starting college. You were there when I got my first apartment this summer. You were there when so many little things happened. You were there through the laughter. You were there through the joy.
So, my prayer today, is to thank you for never letting go. You were with me through the good and the bad. I have lost so much this year. I have also gained a lot. I have learned more than I thought possible. My eyes were opened this year. Thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for saving me. I pray that I keep leaning on you and trusting you. I pray that I use the David Crowder Band’s song to guide me and remind me that you are always here. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“If you get lost in your sorrows
Then you could hit rock bottom
But if you smile in face of trivial things
And you learn to pray when you wanna complain
Stand up straight when the Earth is shaking
And just breathing when you feel afraid
Those problems you’re worried about
They can’t keep you from living now
When you shake ‘em off and lay ‘em down, down, down
At the cross where your freedom’s found
Oh You can stand up no matter what
March on when times are tough
Be strong and don’t give up
All you need now
Is to shake ‘em off and lay ‘em down
At the cross where your freedom’s found”
The new semester is officially is in full swing. Classes have begun and recruitment starts tomorrow. This is where lists comes into play. (As you know, I love lists!) I made a three page to-do list last night with everything that I still need to get done this week. I could not be more excited! With so much going on, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. So, this year I am going to practice giving it all to you before I get too stressed. I am going to be proactive with my prayer. I am on my knees, laying everything down at the feet of the cross.
I have the most amazing sisters that remember to check on me. When I was driving back to Mobile, on Sunday, after church, I had three sisters call me just to make sure my drive was going well. I could not be more blessed to have them in my life. I forget to take care of myself sometimes and forget to take a second to enjoy life. Last year was pretty rough to say the least, but even the darkest days had some bright spots. Every time I started to feel like I would crumble, they picked me up and reminded me to lean on you.
So, that is my prayer. Lord, I am giving it all to you. I am laying it down at your feet. I pray that I remember that you love me and protect me. That your plan is bigger than my own. Thank you for putting so many wonderful people in my life. Thank you for giving me sisters that support and encourage me. Thank you for guiding my life and being the light on my path, showing me the way. I am so grateful for all you have done for me. I pray that I lean on you. I pray that I have faith in you and in your plan. You hold my life in your life hands and I pray that you keep molding me into the person I am meant to be. I pray that I shine a light right back to you. I pray that I follow you and you lead me where you want me to go. I pray that I remember Sanctus Real’s lyrics this week. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“I hear the drip, drip drops falling on my rooftop
The lightning joins in and the thunder starts to beatbox
Gotta smile on my face
It’s a perfect day to go dancing in the rain.”
I feel like it rains everytime I’m in a bad mood now. Like you just know when I need to be reminded that your plan is bigger than mine and reminded of your love. When I hear that first couple of drops I just stop what I’m doing and start smiling like some goofy kid. Then I start remembering and realize how big I’m blessed. So, for today, I’m gonna make another list. (See? I love making lists!)
1. Thank you for sisters that pick me up every single time I fall. Even when they have no idea that they keep me going just by being themselves.
2. Thank you for friends back home keeping me grounded and reminding me of who I am while still supporting who I am becoming.
3. Thank you for family that takes care of me in more ways that I can count.
4. Thank you for blessing me with the many beautiful opportunites I have in front of me especially being able to attend the University of South Alabama.
5. Thank you for making me just the way I am, flaws and all. I am not perfect. (Even though I say I am practically everyday.) Thank you for loving me anyways and thank you for putting people in my life that love me anyways too.
I pray that I remember Shane Harper’s song and I learn to stop and take a minute to enjoy what is around me and go dancing in the rain. I pray that I remember to stop and thank you for all the many ways I’m blessed. I pray that I learn to show others how to dance in the rain too. I pray that you keep guiding me and changing me. I pray that you keep working on my heart. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
I have always loved this quote and have tried to practice it. I fall short sometimes, probably more often than I would like to admit. I complain about whatever is going on in my life that isn’t as picture perfect like I thought it would be. But I think we are called to lead by example. I think if we want to see a change then we must start changing. When you ride a plane they tell you to put your mask on first. I think that applies to more than just when we’re on the plane. I think we have to make the change in ourselves first. I think that nothing is ever going to happen if we sit back and wait on it.
“Just a pebble in the water (ohh)
Can set the sea in motion (ohh)
A simple act of kindness (ohh)
Can stir the widest ocean
If we show a little love
Heaven knows what we could change (oh yeah)
So throw a pebble in the water (oh yeah)
And make a wave, make a wave
Make a wave, make a wave”
I think you place us right where you want us Lord. I think everything happens for a purpose, for your purpose. I think it is incredibly important that we surround ourselves with people that support us and encourage us but it is equally important for us to do the same for others. I think too often we try to stay in our own little bubble. I know I try to. I like safe. I like security and there isn’t anything wrong with that but I think it is important for us to be the person running the lighthouse right in the heart of the storm showing the way to you. You are the light that guides me home but sometimes I think it is important to share that light you gave us. I heard one time, “If you had the cure to cancer would you share it?” They were trying to explain that we had you and how we were saved but we weren’t sharing it. I think you created each and every one of us to be used for your glory.
So, that is my prayer today. I pray that you use me. I thank you for putting me right where you want me. I thank you for creating a purpose in me. I thank you for guiding me. I thank you for leading me. I thank you for putting the right people in my life to support me. I hope I support them as much as they support me. I pray that I share your light with those around me. I pray that I am that pebble in the ocean. I pray that you use me for your glory. I pray that you use me to bring others to you. I pray that you use me to help those around me. I pray that I encourage others and lift them up to you. I pray that you keep molding me and changing me. I pray that you keep working on my heart. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.