I have heard the story from Genesis about Abraham taking Isaac as a sacrifice to You, Lord, nearly a hundred times. I thought I understood it, but honestly I could not imagine giving up my kid. Every time I heard it, my thought process could not function enough to comprehend sacrificing your kid. Especially after Abraham waited and waited and waited and waited to have that kid. I could not even understand why You would ask that of Abraham. I was just like no deal, hard pass. Until I became a foster parent.
Then it allll started to make sense.
For one, You don’t want us to get wrapped up in the kids so much that we worship and serve them, instead of keeping You at the center of everything. Because You love us and care for us. Serving kids is great, but it does not serve you to worship them and it certainly doesn’t serve your kids to worship your kids. When we take our eyes off You, we are no longer helping those kids any way ya slice it.
For two, giving my kids to You is the entire point. Teaching them to serve You and pointing them to You is the entire point. Letting them go is the entire point. Before I was raising kids, ya know knee deep in slime and teenage sass, I did not understand that. It is my utmost pleasure to give those kids to You. They were Yours before they were mine, and they will be Yours long after they are no longer in my care. You love them more than I will ever be able to comprehend. The magnitude of Your love for them is beyond even my best day. Loving my kid, helped me see how much more You love.
Lysa Terkheurst said: “God really does have it all worked out. The gaps are filled. The heartache is eased. The provision is ready. The needs are met. Fully. Completely. Perfectly. In Him. With Him. By Him.”
Lord, trusting You with these kids is the hardest and easiest thing I’ve ever done. Boyyyy Howdyyy, did I want to hold on tight and never let go, but that is not what I needed, and most definitely not what my kid needed. All I can do is love ’em while I got ’em and point ’em to You along the way. And that there is more than enough.
Abraham and Isaac both answer: “Here I am,” when called in the story. Lord, help me to have a heart eager to serve. Help to answer: “Here I am.” Help me to answer the call, ready and willing.
I know without a shadow of a doubt, that my kid is gonna get in trouble when I’m not there anymore. The same way my kid got in trouble when I was standing right there, but I won’t be around to help pick up the pieces this time. Hopefully while my kid was in my care, my kid learned something.
Hopefully, my kid watched when this foster mama played gospel music to ease the stress.
Hopefully, my kid watched when this foster mama pulled out her bible when she got overwhelmed.
Hopefully, my kid watched when this foster mama served her community even when she was tired.
Hopefully, my kid watched when this foster mama wrote scripture and posted it on every door and every wall.
Hopefully, my kid watched when this foster mama leaned into healthy relationships with others.
Hopefully, my kid watched when this foster mama actually used coping skills and target skills, not just taught them.
Lord, I was a foster mama for 570 days. I’m pullin a Ross and Rachel right now screaming about being on a break. My kids rooms are empty and the beds are all gonna be changed and washed tomorrow. There’s no bath bomb science making kit in my living room floor. There’s no Taki’s stocked in my kitchen. There’s no speaker blaring music from the bathroom. There’s no hamster running loose, again. There’s no bike in the middle of the driveway. There’s no shoes under the couch. There’s no slamming doors and no laughing until we’re crying. My hair ain’t turning gray or falling out and there is quiet in the house. I fully appreciate the quiet, but Lord have mercy, fill these rooms again so that I can give them to You too.
So, this is my prayer. Father, I know I made mistakes, but please Lord let me have taught more good than bad. I pray I pointed my kid to you. I pray I was a mirror of your love. Help me to love better. Help to holler less. Help me get less frustrated and calm down faster. Help me to stand firm when they need and show grace when they need. Help me to forgive. Help them to forgive me. Lord, prepare their hearts for my home, when you are preparing my heart for them. Lord, I run so far away sometimes and you always bring me back home. Lord, help them find home too, even if it’s not with me. Let every breath in my body breathe for you. Let every word I speak be for you. Let every step I take, be with you. I know just how quickly the tables can turn. I know a kid can leave my home just as quickly as it entered. Lord, I know foster care is a roller coaster, but I also know you are with me, holding me together. I know there is so much more pain than I can even imagine. But I also know that Your love can heal any pain, any hurt, any trauma. You fill the gaps, I just need to be willing to stand in them too. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
southerngirlsprayers 