What if I’m just a vessel.

Don’t ask me how many cups of coffee I have had today. Don’t ask me if I ate a real meal today. Don’t ask me if I had the preferred the amount of sleep last night. Don’t ask me if I wore sweat pants or actual pants today. Don’t ask me if I’m stressed.

But do ask me if I still have motivation because the answer is yes. I have the opposite of senioritis. The closer to graduation, the more excited I am to learn.

Do ask me if I prayed over this because the answer is yes. Not just today. I have been praying over this for as long as I can remember. Psalm 116:2 says: Because he bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I breathe! 

Do ask me when I started studying because the answer to that is practically birth. I have been reading and researching since my parents used to ground me by taking away my books and fussing at me for reading in the dark after bedtime. More specifically, I started studying for finals over a month ago. I made a day-by-day list with things to accomplish from note-cards to PowerPoint’s and assignments.

Do ask me why I’m doing all of this because the answer is for You, Lord. My degree is not for me.

“But in actuality, your degree has nothing to do with you. In fact, it’s all about Him and what he can do through you.” 

After watching this spoken word, my entire viewpoint changed. I have never been one to brag about being stressed. Instead I pretend everything is fine, until I break down. Which is just as selfish, if not more. What this video reminded me of though, is that I don’t have to pretend. I am more than fine and this isn’t about me. I forget about the people that my degree is for. I forget the people that I am going to be helping one day. My degree is for You. My degree is to serve You. My degree is bring people closer to You. My degree is glorify You. My everything is for You. My degree is how I fulfill my part in Your plan.

Do ask me why I’m blessed. I am blessed because I am Yours. I am blessed because “I am in training to love people better.” I am blessed because I have the fortunate opportunity to be able to get an education and the freedom to study.

So, that is my prayer today. Lord, I want to take myself out of the equation. Empty me of me. Fill me with you. Show the world what you can do. Use me for your glory. Use me for your plan. Use my degree, my attitude, my heart, my knowledge, my talents, my attributes, my actions, my abilities. Use my everything for you. Make my degree, the door. Make my work ethic, the key. Lord, make a vessel. Don’t let me throw away what you gave me. Lord, help me to use what I have. Thank you for everything you have given me. Thank you for blessing me. Thank you for all the opportunities I have been given. Thank you for my degree. Thank you for my university. Thank you for my professors. Thank you for the other students and faculty. Thank you for group projects and real life experience. Thank you for student loans and expensive textbooks. Thank you for online classes and desks in classrooms. Thank you for podiums and clickers. Thank you for white boards and markers. Thank you for research and technology and case studies and real world scenarios. Thank you for the workers who keep my university always gorgeous and running smoothly. Thank you for the financial aid office and student accounting people. Thank you for the secretaries and student recruitment people who got me here. Thank you for everyone who works at my university so that I can have an education. Thank you for computer labs and printers. Thank you for libraries and Starbucks on campus. Thank you for pencils and pen and highlighters and note-cards and for parents that have supplied them since preschool. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.