I’m runnin’ to the One who made every part of me in His hands.

When I was a little kid I wanted to be the music minister soooo bad! I wanted to lead the choir and chose the songs every Sunday. I lovedddddd the idea of matching songs to the message and making them fit into this puzzle that helped people understand the message before the preacher even spoke a word. It was about making connections. The worship part of the service sets up the message to glorify You and then the message brings it home. I am painfully aware that I have absolutely no musical ability though. You gave me a lot of gifts and talents, but singing was not one of them. However, I found a way to bring music into how I think, write, and pray. William Shakespeare said: “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” Maybe that’s what You meant for me all along.

“The grass is green where you water it.” Maybe I should stop looking at my neighbors yard and start watering my own grass. Sometimes, I get so caught up in what others are doing that I miss the message You are trying to send me. Maybe, I am doing exactly what You need me to do. You created me for a distinct purpose. I have a specific part to play in Your plan. I was built to bring glory to You with clearly designed talents. You don’t do anything by accident or mistake.

I remember studying Martin Luther King Jr. growing up and today I was reminded of what he said: “Use me God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do and use it for a purpose greater than myself.” He also said: “If you can’t fly then run. If you can’t run then walk. If you can’t walk then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” Then I saw this picture on Pinterest that says: “When you’ve done everything you can do, that’s when God will step in and do what you can’t do.” It lists 2 Corinthians 12:10 which says:  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

So, this is my prayer today. I pray that I take Martin Luther King’s words with me. I pray that you use all of me for a purpose greater than me. I pray that I remember 2 Corinthians 12:10 this week and remember where I can’t, you can. I pray that I do as much as I can to bring glory to you. I pray that I keep moving forward. I pray that I use whatever means I have possible to bring glory to you. I pray that I take Blanca’s song with me today. I pray that I remember this is real what I feel, no one made it up. I pray that I remember I am loved. Lord, you put every single hair on my head for a reason. You created every part of me. You know me better than anyone. You know who I’ve been. You know who I am. You know who I will become. You are using my every step, even the missteps for your glory. You are using my every strength, my every weakness, my everything. You created everything about me to be used for your will and for your plan. I pray that I learn to water my grass and use my talents for you. I pray that I give my talents to you. I pray that I use what you’ve given me for your glory. I pray that others see you in me. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I know exactly who I am.

I’m a yes girl. Yes to fairy tales. Yes to love. Yes to forgiveness. Yes to grand gestures. Yes to kindness. Yes to openness. Yes to vulernablity. I’m Gigi from He’s Just Not That Into You that puts herself out there too much, over thinks everything, and is sensitive to every word people say. I’m that girl. I believe in the kind of true love I see at church. I’m the kind of girl that wants to be that old couple holding hands and singing their heart out for You, Lord. I believe miracles happen in the rain and the sunshine.

Ive written a ridiculously long letter that he will never respond to. I’ve waited around after a football game to tell a guy I liked him and literally ran away after. I’ve been laughed at after I told him how I felt. I’ve said yes to a joke ask out while half the class laughed. I’ve believed the bully was just lost and fell for him because of all the good I saw in him. I’ve fallen for my elementary school class clown and trouble maker because he was just acting out. I’m the girl that will tell people exactly how I feel except when I’m hurt. I will never be the girl in the movies that lets fear stop her from true love. I’ll find my way and I won’t stop looking for the man You created for me.

I’m the girl that looks for the best in people. I’m the girl that will go out of my way to make someone smile. I am the girl that will sing along with the radio terribly off key. I’m the girl that can’t dance, but always will. I’m the girl that loves to laugh at the cheesy stuff. I’m the girl that will cry when hallmark commercials come on. I’m the girl that will share everything she’s got (except my little sister doesn’t need to know that). I’m the girl with a little brother for a hero. I’m the quiet shy girl in the corner with a book and the loud girl laughing with her friends. I’m the girl that notices the small stuff. I like simple. I’m emotional and sensitive, but I have a really good eye for the small stuff that makes ordinary things magical.

I’m stubborn sometimes, but at the same time completely willing to move things around for others. I’m the girl that will want to spend every second with people, but will also need lots of alone time. I’m fickle. Sometimes, I can’t make a decision and need a few minutes to think. Sometimes, I’m decisive and firm. I’m the girl that completely hates to be told what she’s doing wrong, but will listen to every word they say and do my best to work on it and change for the better.

I won’t apologize for that girl. I’m proud of that girl.

So, this is my prayer today. I pray that I always know who I am. I pray that I never lose that girl. I pray that I keep looking to you to show me strength. I pray that I keep my eyes focused on you. I pray that I keep growing in you. I pray that I find myself more and more in you. I pray that my heart is filled with your love. I pray that I keep seeking your love. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.