I’m almost done reading The Single Woman by Mandy Hale and the next chapter is titled “The Upside of Tough Times.” I thought it was going to be more about dealing with the tough times. But, it was exactly what I needed to hear. She said: “When all is said and done, we all go through things in life that, if we allowed them to, could destroy us, make us jaded or bitter, or cause us to throw in the towel. But we can make the choice to let tough times polish us instead of demolish us, refine us and not define us.” Sunday night at bible study, we discussed not letting the future or the past control our lives, that we need to concentrate on today.
Then at the end of chapter she says: “Allow everything you’ve been through to propel you toward everything you’re going to be.” Maybe that’s exactly what this past year has been about. Getting me here. Maybe this was all apart of Your plan. Maybe this was all supposed to teach me and lead me to where I am now, to the person I am now. Maybe it was never about being lost, but realizing how much more I could find in You. I have always known that You are my Lord and Savior. I have always known You’re with me. Maybe this year was about learning to continue to seek You even when You never left my side. Maybe this year was about growth. Maybe it was about strengthening my relationship with You. Maybe it was about becoming the woman I always dreamed I’d be. Maybe it was about learning to chase after You, the way You’ve always been in pursuit of me. Maybe everything happened to teach me how to sing my own broken hallelujah.
It’s kinda like I’m a driver, life is the car, and You’re the mechanic. You know my make and model, my mileage, my fuel levels, my tire pressure, and everything about me. I keep trying to control life and the car, but if I listen to You more, I would get a lot further. I break down and You fix me, time and time again. You give me advice and I only do just enough to get by. You tell me to be careful over the bumps. As soon as I get the oil checked, the tires need rotating, or the wiper fluid is out. The car needs to get that detailed wash often, just like I have to deep clean my heart. Sometimes things need to be replaced and changed. When I’m in darkness, I have to turn the lights on to see. If I don’t use the gps, I’ll get lost, just like if I don’t use my bible. Maybe this year was about learning to put as much effort into taking care of my relationship with You, as I do my car. (Now, I’m ready to bust out in Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take The Wheel!”)
So, this is my prayer today. I pray that I learn to focus on today. I pray that I learn to be content. I pray that I learn from the past and plan for the future without letting them consume me. I pray that you consume me. I pray that I continue to move where you need me. I pray that you keep letting me see the beauty in everything around me. I pray that I keep running to you. Thank you for always having your arms out for me. I pray that I keep worshiping you. I pray that I keep praying and reading your word. I pray that I keep seeking you. I pray that I keep walking with you. I pray that I keep singing praise to you. I pray that I keep learning and growing. Thank you for loving me even though I’m broken. Thank you for being my mechanic. Thank you for healing my brokenness. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.