Slow, like a Sunday morning service back home.

My daddy used to pick on me because I would paint my nails all different colors. I guess he thought I would grow out of it, but some things never change. I’m still that girl, painting each nail a different color, hoping to make the world a little prettier, a little brighter, and a little happier. One itty bitty thing at a time, I’m gonna make this world better. One nail at a time, one cup at a time, and one prayer at a time.

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I didn’t get my accent from my parents. I got my accent from spending every morning singing along to CMT. I talk slow and walk even slower, but I’d walk 100 miles up a hill both ways in the rain to give somebody the shirt right off my back. That right there I got from my mama and daddy.

When I was getting ready to leave high school, a friend told me that I was in for a surprise and the world was going to change that soft heart of mine and make it hard. They thought since my parents tried to shelter me that made me weak and vulnerable, but that shield of protection is exactly what makes me strong. I know that nothing of this world can give me what I need most, and that’s You, Lord. Only You can sustain my heart. Only You can give me peace. Only You can save me. Only You can keep the world from hardening my heart, but it takes me choosing to follow You every single moment of every single day. No matter how lost I get or how many times I head down the wrong path, somehow I’m always standing right back at the foot of the cross. Only the cross can bear it all without breaking.

I’ve lived, loved, and lost. That friend in high school thought when I got some real life experience that it would harden my heart, but loving and losing lines you right up with where you need to be. At the foot of the cross.

I’m not gonna lie or hide the truth, back then, I only saw my own two feet. I had tunnel vision. I didn’t see what was going on in the world around me. I was innocent and far too naive. Sometimes I didn’t even see what was going on right in front of my face. But the older I get, the more I see Your hand in everything. In every moment. Good and bad, beautiful and ugly, heart warming and heart breaking, every life taking and life giving moment. You, God are always there. Always sustaining.

So, here is my prayer. I pray that I remember that my daddy told me the tongue is the window to the soul and Proverbs 13:3 says: The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; The one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. I pray that I remember all the good my parents taught me and I remember the girl they raised me to be. I pray that I remember to watch my words and watch my life. I pray that I give love and grace and compassion. I pray that I speak life, your life sustaining words. I pray that I don’t shy from the truth. I pray that I continue to see your work in the world around me. I pray the more I open my eyes, the more I see you. I pray your love shines out of this soft heart of mine. Thank you for the cross. Thank you for bearing it all. Thank you for defeating even death. Thank you for all I’ve learned, all I’ve been given, and all I’ve lost. Thank you for sustaining this soft heart through it all. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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