“They thought it was over, that His name would fade away.”
Lettttttttt me tell how many times I put that song on repeat yesterday. Your. Name. Will. Not. Fade. Away.
The work will go on. This is not about me. Every single bit of this is about Your plan and Your glory. I am just one part of it. My world crumbled, not the world. I get so caught up in what’s going on in my life that I get selfish sometimes.
Maybe sometimes my world needs to crumble so I remember who is in control. On Wednesday night at Bible study, we studied Matthew 20:1-16. It’s a story about these workers in the vineyard. These people are hired and given their pay and they work all day long. Then these other people are hired and given the same pay and they only work for an hour.
At first everyone thinks this is unfair and they get jealous. We all immediately jumped to the defense of the people working all day, immediately relating to them. Like it was an instantaneous feeling. We didn’t even blink an eye.
The truth is, we are most definitely the ones showing up late to the party and getting the same reward. Jesus, You, put in the work. For me. On the cross. Jesus, You, put in the work. In me. On the regular. (every hour I need thee.)
I am chosen. Yet I question Your grace, alllll the time. I’m trying to read the Word, cover to cover. And usually when I study it that way, I don’t make it out of Genesis. But I am determined this time so I’ve made it, ya know, all the way to Exodus so far. So I’m reading Exodus and it’s going on and on about the exact size that the curtains need to be for tabernacle and what kind of yarn needs to be used. It is literally so specific and detailed. I’m not gonna lie, I literally read part and was thinking why do I need to know they used a half yard here and half yard on the other side, like for real? Then I heard that still small voice say: because if You care so much about fabric choice for a meeting place for worship, doesn’t He care soo much more for me? That’s a building and You are intentional with it, so imagine how much more You are with me, Your child.
In both lessons, I learned how You are deliberate and unrushed. Your love astounds me daily. It’s hard for me to believe in all of my sin and my shame and my mess, You choose me again and again. You rescue me again and again. You give me grace again and again. You seek me out again and again. You pursue a relationship with me again and again.
So this is my prayer. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for your generosity. Thank you for your love. Thank you for the cross. Thank you for wanting me. Thank you for never leaving me. Thank you for patience. Thank you for being deliberate and unrushed. Thank you that it’s not about me. I would make a terrible god. Thank you for not being persuaded by my arrogance. Thank you that your spirit moves in and your will be done. Thank you that the message is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for working so hard to save me. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.