I’ll be praying for you.

I have been watching this show, Married At First Sight with my little. It made me think about marriage a lot and how much work it is. So, I decided to write a letter to my future husband.

Dear Mr. Future,

I am a lot to handle. I have baggage. I have scars and I have issues. I am far from perfect. I am awkward and sometimes pretty weird. I am either too loud or too quiet. I am either too confident or completely unsure of myself. I am a lot of trouble, but I am worth it.

You’ll need to have patience with me. You’ll need to be gentle with me. Most importantly, you’ll need to be careful with your words.

I haven’t met you yet, but I am already falling for you. I have been waiting my whole life to meet you. You are already more than I could ever dream of. I have no experience so all mymemories will be of you. You won’t ever have to compete with anyone. I was made by God completely for you and for Him.

I promise to love you always. I promise to forgive you. Jesus showed me forgiveness when I didn’t deserve it and after knowing that kind of love I could never, not share it. I promise that whatever kind of life we have, will be more than enough. I promise to fight for you. I promise to cherish you. I promise to support you and follow you anywhere you want us to go. I promise to build you up. I promise to grow with you. I promise to put effort into us and into you.

I have been praying for you for my whole life and I will continue to pray for you every single day.

So, that is my prayer. I pray for him. I pray that you are making him. I pray that you are working on his heart. I pray that you are sculpting and building and molding him. I pray that you are guiding him. I pray that you are protecting him. I pray that he is looking for me too. I pray that he is preparing for me like I am for him. I pray that you are working on me too. I pray that we grow in you before we grow together. I pray that he is doing well. I pray that he is encouraged this week. I pray that you hold onto him a little extra this week. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Even in my weakest moment I can feel You closin’ the distance.

Today, I was scrolling through my twitter feed and @JesusGraces posted this: “When we can’t piece together the puzzle of our own lives, remember the best view of a puzzle is from above. Let Him help put you together.” All it took was a five minute break from my to-do list to see that tweet and hear this song.

Lord, you amaze me. You are speaking to my heart when I don’t even realize it. When I get overwhelmed, I start to think I have no control. What I need to realize is that I never have control. You do. I need to surrender it all to you. I need to stop trying to manage it all myself and stop trying to deal with everything. I am not a miracle worker. Sometimes I am not even a functioning human being. There are some things that even I can’t fix. (And I am a total fixer!)

I try so hard to be perfect for everyone that I wind up completely failing everyone. Then when people complain about something I am doing, I just want to give up. I go straight to thinking “why do I even try?” I try because I love. I love everything I am doing. I don’t do anything without 100%. I am not a halfway kind of girl. My daddy taught me that. If you aren’t gonna do it full out, you might as well not do it. I try so hard to make things better, to help people. If intention was what counted, I would be a winner every single time!

In the last couple of days, I have felt like nothing I do is good enough. No matter what I do, there is something that one person would do better. (And ohhh how they love to tell me so.) It’s like that saying: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” (I was born in Georgia and they are known for their peaches! Like I’m totally a peach!)

So, this is my prayer today. Lord, what I need to realize is that without You, I am nothing. I need you to take my puzzle pieces and put them together. I pray that you keep shaping me. I pray that I keep realizing that I need you. I pray that you continue to open my eyes. Lord, help me to stop listening to others and listen to you. I pray that I learn to give you control over my life.  Lord, I pray that you keep my heart open and to keep trying. I pray that I never give up. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I can feel the hope that’s rising in me.

“It’s a good morning!
Wake up to a brand new day
This morning,
I’m stepping, stepping on my way
Good morning,
You give me strength,
You give me just what I need
And I can feel the hope that’s rising in me.
It’s a good morning”

It’s labor day and I have so much to be thankful for today so I’m gonna make one of my lists.

1. I am thankful for my new dog. His name is Jackson. Bryce said he would teach him how to hunt. He is the most precious thing ever! He’s so sweet and smart and so well behaved! Jackson is a lab and terrier mix and he is about 9 weeks old. He is gonna live with my family until I move off campus and can get a place where I can keep him. On the way to get him we sang Johnny and June’s “Jackson.” (I get so excited for the “go comb your hair” part, I practically scream it.)

“Well, go on down to Jackson; go ahead and wreck your health.
Go play your hand you big-talkin’ man, make a big fool of yourself,
You’re goin’ to Jackson; go comb your hair!
Honey, I’m gonna snowball Jackson.
See if I care.”

2. I’m thankful to have some time at home and be surrounded by such a wonderful family. Mariah, Morgan, Bryce, Daddy, Mama, and Samantha are all here. We are about to eat lunch. Dad cooked bar-b-que and ribs all night long. This morning Dad got Jackson up and let him play outside while he smoked the food on the grill.

“God is great and God is Good,
And we thank God for our food;
By God’s hand we must be fed,
Give us Lord, our daily bread.
Amen.”

3. I’m thankful for my daddy who took care of me. He got me new tires and an oil change yesterday so that I can go home safely today.

4. I’m thankful for my mama who got Jackson a camo bed, leash, and everything camo.

5. I am thankful for such a wonderful day. It’s been such a perfect day.

So that is my prayer today. Thank you Lord for everything you have given me. Thank you for today and for my family. Please keep watching over my family and protecting them. Make sure they take care of Jackson while I’m gone too. Keep my eyes open so I can see the beauty in all your blessings around me. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.