Shall I play for You? pa rum pum pum pum on my drum?

for KING & COUNTRY posted their new Christmas song Saturday. I clicked to save it for later because we were in the hospital with my dad and I didn’t wanna play this loud video right then. So, while dad and bubba napped tonight, I watched it. I practically started crying in the first ten seconds. for KING & COUNTRY were just playing their little hearts out and all I could think is they are just like the little drummer boy, playing as loud and much as they can for You, Lord. The video is like the epitome of living with a childlike faith. It may have been grown men on that stage, but all I saw was a bunch of little boys beating their drums for You, God.

My daddy acts that way when he tells stories or brings someone food. It’s like pure, childlike joy that comes across those boy’s faces. For my bubba, he acts like a child when we’re waiting on dad to come back from rehab and he’s bored. He literally took my tennis shoes off. Not only did he untie them, he took the entire lace out. When my dad came back and saw what my bubba was doing, he told him to do it to the other shoe. They literally were grinning ear to ear while I’m just sitting there without shoes on.

Now I don’t know how that childishness relates to serving You like the other two instances. Maybe it’s his generous love for others. Because that boy is the definition of 1 Corinthians 13. We were sitting next to the poster with part of the chapter and when he was taking my shoes off, I told him to replace his name with the word love. He did it and kinda laughed, and joked back that he wasn’t any of those things. But he is. My bubba is patient, he is kind. He does not envy or boast. He might be a little proud sometimes. 18-21 are the unbearable boy years. “The know-it-all years.” I went through my obnoxious know-it-all phase at 18 too, but by 19-20 I grew out of it. My bubba is still rocking this phase. But he does not dishonor others. He is not self-seeking. Now when he was growing up, he was easily angered. But my daddy taught him the measure of a man is the size of things that make him angry. It took them both a hot minute to learn this, but they did. He keeps no records of wrongs. He does not delight in evil and definitely rejoices in truth. He protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres, and never fails. He might be a 21 year old man, but he will always be that little boy jumping on my bed, asking me about You, God and praying with me.

My daddy might be turning 50, he’s still a little boy on the play ground chasing my mama around, throwing dirt on her. Gary Allan has a song about how “when tough little boys grow up to be dads, they turn into big babies again.” Before I was born, my dad bought a book and taught himself how to braid hair. And every time, my daddy braids my hair, I think he cries a little.

So, here is my prayer today. I pray that I learn from these strong men in my life. I pray that I serve you in all I do with a heart of a child. I pray that I beat my drum with all my heart for all my life. I pray that I am patient and kind. I pray that I do not envy or boast. I pray that I am not proud. I pray that I do not dishonor others. I pray that I am not self-seeking or easily angered. I pray I keep no record of wrongs. I pray I do not delight in evil and I rejoice in truth. I pray I protect, trust, hope, persevere, and with you never fail. I pray that I worship with you will all I do. I pray all I do brings glory to your name. I pray that everything I do shines a light for you. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I’m fixing my eyes on You.

Part of this weekend’s homework for my marketing class was to take the VALS survery. The survery looks at our values, attitude, and lifestyles for market research. I thought I was one thing and wound up being another. I am an Achiever. I seek accomplishments to gain approval and recognition. I realized that was true real quick. It is ingrained into my personality, my need for acceptance. What I forget sometimes is that You accept me. You gave up Your life just so I could be free. You love me and I don’t have to earn that love. It comes completely free. It is unconditional. There is nothing I do or don’t do that will change it. You know all I’ve done and still love me. You know how many hairs are on my head. You know every mistake, every bad thought, every accomplishment, and every good intention. You know me completely. You created me.

There is a song from Rich Mullins that I used to sing allllll the time:

“And Step by step You’ll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days”

I decided to move my focus more towards you. I am having a change of heart. My journey isn’t for them, it’s for you. I am changing my direction. Proverbs 16:9 says:

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.

Lord, help me to listen to Francesca Battistelli words:

“But when I fix my eyes on all that You are
Then every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade
And fall to the ground
Cause when I seek Your face
And don’t look around
Any place I’m in
Grows strangely dim”

So, this is my prayer today. I pray that I shift my focus. I pray you change my heart. I pray that you change my direction. I pray that I realize how blessed I am. I pray that I follow you. I pray that you lead me where you want me to go. I pray that I learn to accept your love. I know it’s hard for me to even imagine that kind of unconditional love, but you gave it to me completely. Lord, you love me more than I will ever be able to understand. Lord, fix my eyes on all that you are. There are literally tears in my eyes saying this prayer. I am realizing how completely free and unconditional your love is. Lord, guide me. Move me. Lord, I am yours and you are mine. I am your child. I want to follow you. I want to seek you. I want you to establish my steps. I want you to lead me step by step. Lord, fix my eyes. Lord, let every worry grow dim. Let every doubt grow dim. Let everything of this world grow dim. Lord, change my heart. Lord, heal my heart. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.