And I thank You, God, that You love a broken woman.

The devil was working hard this week. I mean he kept packing punches. I was tired. And I failed, multiple times. I didn’t get up when I got knocked down near quick enough. I laid down and tried to retreat, hoping I wouldn’t get hit again, but boyyyy was I hit again. And again. I dropped the ball more times than I can count. I complained over nothing. I was ungrateful. Instead of paying attention to those around me and taking care of them, I held a pity party and then shared my pity party with others inviting them to my pity party. I could list all the manyyyyy things I did wrong this week. In fact, someone did list them for me. This child legit looked me straight in the eye and said I was irrelevant. No one was going to change. No one was going to be better because of this. No one was being helped. Shesh-a-mighty, she spent half an hour telling me how completely useless I was. There was a lot of hurt and a lot of pain carried. I simply said: “well, I ain’t giving up.” That child’s rant may have been directed at me but it wasn’t about me in the slightest, I know that. Nevertheless, my God, You, don’t make irrelevant things. You are in the detail business. Your plan never fails.

“Their eyes are watching, oh, I don’t wanna mess this up.”

They prayed at the end of devotion a couple of weeks ago and said “the enemy don’t get tired of going after us or them because we get tired.” Ohhhhh, it got me fired up. You, my God, are greater. You, my God are stronger. You, my God, already won the war. I can rest in Your sweet victory, but I cannot stop fighting back. Lord, You are faithful, even when my faith is weak. I think You knew what You were doing when my mama named me Alyssa FAITH O’Steen. My mama always tells the story that she and my daddy had a lot of faith to have me and it’s this real cute story. But I think it’s carried on. I think You knew I would need a reminder daily. My faith is right there in the middle of everything, reminding me of Your faithfulness. Lord, You are so true and so reliable, every single time I fail. You don’t fail. You never leave me alone. That child might be right. I might never make a difference to anyone in this world, and that is ok. But You, my God, will make all the difference.

Hebrews 4:12 says: For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 

Romans 8:28 says: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. 

Psalm 143:8 says: Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I entrust my life. 

So, here is my prayer today. Lord, fill my life with your word. I know your word is alive and active. I pray that keeps warming my soul. I pray that I am filled by your word. I pray that I continue to seek you. I pray that I am resilient. I pray that you are working. I pray that let these lazy bones of mine become active. I pray that I am reminded daily of your faithfulness and love and grace and mercy. I pray that this is all about you. Lord, I pray that your name is remembered above all names. I pray that you are the focus. I pray that you are the center of everything. I pray that your word surrounds everything I do. I pray that I give my life to you. I pray for your control, I’m done fighting for control. Lord, take over. I pray I give you the reigns. Thank you Lord for loving a broken woman. Thank you for finding me when I get lost. Thank you for changing me. Thank you for loving me too much to leave me the way I am. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

3 thoughts on “And I thank You, God, that You love a broken woman.

  1. During some of the most difficult months of my life, I had Psalms 14:8 written on a little post-it note on the side of my night stand; so that it was the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes and the first thing I saw in the morning. Keep trusting God! He will never fail you or abandon you!

    Liked by 2 people

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