I can throw my hands up. Worries down.

Sometimes I let the little things get to me. I get stressed real easy. I’m learning to work on it, but it is a slow process. Ya know, 24 years in the making and I’m still learning. If you want to add some drama to my life, put me into a car where there the gas is below half a tank. Ok. Then watch me have a panic attack. Anything below a quarter of a tank, practically gives me a heart attack. My mother is the complete opposite. She hardly ever drives a car with more than a quarter of a tank. I’ve tried to see her point of view, but I just can’t do it. I know my limits. I like to feel safe and having lots of gas in the car helps me feel better. For her, it’s not a limit at all. It doesn’t even phase her. On the other hand, I’ve learned to control my anger a long time ago, so that it is not a problem. Of course I still get mad but, like today when someone inconsiderately pulls in front of me without using a blinker and I have to slam on my breaks. It’s just plain rude, but I saw my hands grip the steering wheel and immediately said a silent prayer. Lord help me. Then I let go, of the wheel and the anger. I didn’t even honk or anything. If only I could let my anxiety go that easy.

I turned this song up on the radio as loud as it would go and sang until I pulled into the driveway.

We all have things that bother us. We all have things we need to work on, but I tend to focus on all the things I need to fix that I forget to just be ok. I don’t have to have everything figured out right this red hot minute. Lord, you and I both know I am not a patient woman. I am a Margaret. I stay busy and run around making sure everyone and everything is taken care of. I forget to be like Mary sometimes, to just enjoy Your presence.

After leaving work, I went to Home Depot and bought a couple of shelves for the closet to hang up my clothes and start unpacking some. I texted my person, of course, and told her about how “it’s a small step.” She responded with “that’s a big step!” That put my heart right into perspective. So, before I go unpack all my clothes, I need to pray.

So, this is my prayer. Lord, thank you for showing me how to turn the big bad things into small things. Thank you for showing me how to turn the little good things into big things. Thank you for changing my heart and showing me that my perception of things is important. Thank you for helping me let go of the little things and to appreciate the big things. I pray that I spend more time with you. I pray that I worship you more. I pray that I lay everything at your feet more. I pray that I come to you more. I pray that I take this song with me. I pray that I let go of the cold and bitterness from my heart. I pray that I remember that the things around me are temporary and your love is eternal. I pray that I break up with my doubt. I pray that I get to know the God I know even more. I pray that I keep reaching for you. Thank you for the reminder that this is just the beginning. I pray that I let freedom in. I pray that I come alive when I let go. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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