I’ll shine a light ’cause I am loved.

I fall for the same type of guy every single time. The one that says all the right things but doesn’t mean them. The one that makes promises he has no intention of keeping. The one that hung the moon.

The funny thing about that is the moon is pretty and catches my attention and makes me happy for a little while but it’s just a reflection of the sun. The moon has no real light of it’s own. The moon is just a glimpse of the sun.

I’m tired of settling for secondary light. I’m tired of settling for the one that only sees me as the moon too. I want sunshine and I want someone who sees me as the sun too. I’m tired of settling for something that is just a preview of the real thing. I want the world to revolve around me. I want someone to think of me daily. I want someone who needs me daily. I want someone who cannot function without me and who depends on me. I want to be someone’s first thought in the morning, not the last thought they have at night.

I know I sound selfish, and that’s probs because I am. I don’t want these things because I think I’m needy and need the person to spend every waking second thinking of me and needing me. I just want to be a consideration. Like when he goes to the grocery store, I want him to pick up flowers. I want him to make sure my car gets the oil changed because he wants me to be taken care of. I want him to take out the trash because he knows I hate it. I just want the little things, the little moments of sunshine and warmth.

I want to be the sun because I want Your love to shine through me. I want others to see You through me and the man that loves me. I want others to know that You created the sun. I want a love story written by you because it is better than any story I could ever write. I’m tired of trying to write my own story.

I’m waiting for someone to love me like You do. Adam Cappa posted: “Your heart is precious to God, so guard it, and wait for the one who will treasure it.” I don’t want perfection, because I know the only perfect love, You’ve already given me. You’ve shown me love in more ways than I will ever even be able to grasp. I just want someone to pursue You with. I want someone to hold my hand on the way to church. I want someone to pray with me and for me.

In Fervent, Priscilla Shirer told us to pray for our husbands before we ever walk down the aisle. She wrote: “Pray that he’ll be set ablaze with love for Christ and a heart for leading you well and making your marriage a devoted priority. Pray that God would guard his friendships and those who influence the path he is taking even right now. Pray that his passions would be attuned with an authentic faith, that his purity would be a matter of deep commitment, and that God would superintend the circumstances that bring the two of you together…all in His perfect plan and His perfect timing.”

So, here is my prayer today. I’m praying for my sunshine. I pray that he prays for me too. I pray Priscilla’s prayer and I pray that he is actively seeking you. I pray he is working for your glory. I pray that you are his everything. I pray that he is running to you. I pray that when trouble finds him, he goes to you. I pray that when sorrow consumes him, he goes to you. I pray that when he is lost, he goes to you. I pray that when he is blessed beyond measure, he goes to you. Lord, thank you for writing my story. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for showing me your perfect love. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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