No, I ain’t a scared little girl no more.

I’ve been called a doormat more times than I can count. They always make it sound like such a terrible thing, like that’s the worst thing I could be. And to be honest, I’ve been harping on it this time. But do you know what I just realized? I am ok with it. Actually, I am more than ok with it.

Doormats welcome people inside. Doormats lets people wipe their dirty shoes on them so they can go in unworried. Doormats are there to take the bad stuff away and open doors. Bullies make you scared and run to hide behind doors. I am done running and I am done feeling bad for who I am. I will no longer apologize for who You created me to be.

People have tried to tell me to be more assertive and aggressive my entire life. I think the reason I am so not aggressive is because I’ve seen aggression and I’ve spent my life trying to be the opposite of that and now I am. Maybe I went too far in the opposite direction, but I would much rather be passive than aggressive.

In middle school, I listened to some advice from what I thought was a friend. I tried it her way. I stood up for myself by being a bully back to a bully. I did not feel better. I did not stand up for myself. I did not win. The bully didn’t stop after I hurt her either. In high school, we both apologized and worked it out. We were kids and it was a learning moment, but I learned then and there that standing up for yourself doesn’t mean pushing someone else down, even when the rest of the world tells you that is ok.

 Mark 12: 30-31 says: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.” 

Lord, You have shown us love in more ways than I will ever be able to fathom and understand. The very least I can do is show love to those around me.

1 John 4:7-10 says: Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 Peter 4:8 says: Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

Martin Luther King Jr. said: I’m concerned about a better world. I’m concerned about justice; I’m concerned about brotherhood; I’m concerned about truth. And when one is concerned about that, he can never advocate violence. For through violence you may murder a murderer, but you can’t murder murder. Through violence you may murder a liar, but you can’t establish truth. Through violence you may murder a hater, but you can’t murder hate through violence. Darkness cannot put out darkness; only light can do that. And I say to you, I have also decided to stick with love, for I know that love is ultimately the only answer to mankind’s problems. And I’m going to talk about it everywhere I go. I know it isn’t popular to talk about it in some circles today. And I’m not talking about emotional bosh when I talk about love; I’m talking about a strong, demanding love. For I have seen too much hate.

So, while I jam out to Kelly Clarkson, I may not be invincible, but I am a warrior. And I know love will always conquer evil. So, go ahead and send a few punches at me “Cause I can take on so much more than I had ever dreamed.”

So, that is my prayer today. I pray that I fight with love. I pray that I love with no abandon. I pray that while some threats are real and some are empty, I pray that I stop running. I pray that the only place I’m running to is you. I pray that I stop hiding behind doors in fear. I pray that I keep being a doormat and welcoming people. I pray that I learn to see my vulnerability as strength. I pray that I stop apologizing for who I am because you created and designed me with intention. It is no accident that I am a doormat. There is a purpose for it. And Lord, I am yours, wholly yours. Lord, I pray that you use me for your glory. Thank you for showing me true love. Thank you for teaching me that love is greater than hate. I pray that I stick with love. Thank you for calling us to love. I pray that I love you with all heart, soul, mind, and strength. I pray that I love those around me. Thank you for showing us the ultimate form of love. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

 

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