I give it all to You.

I started reading For the Love by Jen Hatmaker. She examined her balance beam and all she was trying to balance. She made a detailed list of everything she was doing and analyzed it. I thought that was a brilliant idea. So here is my beam.

  1. Classes. This will be off the beam in three short months as I head for graduation but learning, most definitely will continue to stay on the beam.
  2. Work is on the beam. I need to remember that listening to gossip is just as bad as saying it though and take that right back off the beam. I was doing so well too, but lately it seems to be trying to get back on my beam. No. It’s not healthy for me and it drains me.
  3. Applying for jobs for after graduation. Totes on the beam. Hopefully in three months this will be off the beam too!
  4. Striving for perfection. Off the beam. I work really hard and if given a task I will complete it. Somewhere along the way I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t good enough at one specific thing and that meant I had no strengths. I may not have “one” certain thing, but I am fabulous at a lot of things and I work really hard. I’m letting myself off the hook for this one. I had a manager complement me one time by saying that when I don’t know the answer to something I’m really good at getting the information I need to help that person. I am not perfect by any stretch of the word but I am relentless and I will do whatever I can to help.
  5. Weekly lunches with my person. Definitely on the beam. Sometimes we literally have so much to say that we can’t hardly talk fast enough. Sometimes we have no words and just sit and enjoy the silence. There is something amazing about having a friendship that solid and I cherish it.
  6. Cooking dinner. On. Cleaning the dishes. On. It gives me peace. I like doing it. I should do more of it. Listening to people complain as I learn to cook. Off the beam, for good. It is unnecessary.
  7. Spending time with my littles. On the beam. Anytime they need anything, I’m there, somehow, someway. Always.
  8. Reading and praying is making a return to my beam. The last month (or two) I’ve let it slip.
  9. Alpha Gamma Delta. As an alum this part of balancing takes up a lot less space, but it is certainly not off of my beam. I just donate my time and energy in different ways as an Alum. I don’t want this one ever off my beam completely. I want to be an advisor one day and I hope to contribute to my chapter and my organization for the rest of my life.
  10. Control. Off. Most absolutely and utterly off. That was never mine to place on the beam in the first place. I’m all about taking off unnecessary burdens so why did I even try to put this on my beam in the first place? I’m gonna put freedom on my beam instead, because You always meant for that to take it’s place.

So, that is my prayer today. I pray that I learn to examine my beam from time to time. I pray that I take advantage of the freedom you have given me and let go of the control that I never had to begin with. You have always had control, I just tried to take it on my own and I cannot do it alone and I do not have to. You have my heart. You have my love. You have my time and energy. You are my balance beam. I pray that every part of my balance beam is an extension of your love. I give you my beam. I pray that I hold onto you. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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