Today is May 13 so it is exactly one month until my person gets married. 31 days from now she will be walking down the aisle. I woke up this morning thinking about love and all that I had learned about it over the years. I may not have ever been in love, but I’m observant and I’ve learned quite a lot. No one has taught me more about love than my person. (I mean, she’s kinda fabulous.) So ya know, because I love lists. Here is a list of what I know about love:
1. A foundation set between You and two people is stronger than anything I’ve ever seen. That’s not to say it will be easy because it won’t, but it will be much harder to break.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says: And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
2. Forgiveness is key. Both people will makes mistakes, some big and some small.
Lao Tzu said: “Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.”
3. Understanding each other is a must. They have to know the person inside and out. They have to know what makes them tick. They have to know the reasons behind their actions. They have to know what hurts, heals, soothes, encourages, inspires, and what makes them happy.
4. Communication is not just my major in college. It has to be lived. I know that people think they can just read their minds, but they can’t. I’ve also heard that because of #3 they should just know. Yes, they should know you better than anyone else, but no one knows what you need better than you. If you need something from the other person, just tell them. They’ll get what you need a lot faster and without as much useless work.
5. Trust. Love means giving the other person all of you. It means being vulnerable and giving them the power to hurt you more than anyone else ever could and trusting them to guard your heart safely. It means protecting that heart with every fiber of your being and doing everything in your control not to hurt them.
6. Sacrifice is hard, but sometimes it has to happen. This one is tricky and a lot relationships are one-sided in this department. Sacrifice requires both people to participate. Sometimes it means picking the person over everyone else. (This is hardest for the oldest child btw because we have spent practically our entire lives putting our siblings above others and even ourselves. Patience is needed here.) Sometimes it means picking up and moving clear across the country for their job. Sometimes it means picking up what they want for dinner rather than what you wanted.
7. Yelling gets people absolutely no where. It solves absolutely nothing. When upset, take half an hour in separate rooms and think before speaking. Don’t ever go to bed angry. Don’t ever leave the house angry.
8. Love is war. Some days it’s literally the greatest thing ever. Some days it’s just pure and good. Some days it’s not as good. Some days it shakes you to the core and makes you question everything. Some days it’s so bad you can’t function. The thing to remember is that you’re better together than you would ever be apart.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says: Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.
So, that is my prayer today. I pray for my person and her fiance. I pray that they enjoy the next month together. I pray for the start of their new chapter. I pray that they continue to see you in each other. I pray the foundation they started is only strengthened. I pray that while you test them, they succeed and grow in your love. I pray that they lift each other up. I pray that they forgive each other. I pray that they communicate. I pray that they understand each other. I pray that they trust each other. I pray they make sacrifices for each other. I pray that they never leave each other angry. I pray that they fight for each other. I pray that they keep teaching me. I pray that I keep learning from them. Thank you for bringing them together. Thank you for letting them grow. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.