If there was a ever band that knew my heart, it’s Sidewalk Prophets. They somehow have a song for every piece of my heart. Today, as usual Pandora knew what to play and it was “Help Me Find It.”
I was never a traditional student. I have been on the 5 year plan since I got my ACT scores back and my acceptance letter with the extra classes I would have to take. Somewhere along the way that 5 year plan got turned into a 6 year plan. I got the usual comforts like “no one graduates in 4 years anymore.” (Totally not true! More people are taking longer and longer, but there is still a majority that do finish in 4 years! And I loveeeeee getting asked what’s wrong with me and why can’t I finish in 4 years.) My daddy was always nice about it though, as long as I get the degree, he’s happy. (I was not so happy about it sometimes and I sure won’t be when those student loans have to be repaid.) Psalm 37:7-9 says: Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.
It’s taking longer in part because I changed my major, in part because life happened, and it might have something to do with that science class I failed my freshman year and had to retake. Maybe I’m thinking about graduation a lot because I just had Fall advising and my advisor asked me what I wanted to do after. Maybe I’m thinking about it because of the lady at church that told me about churches hiring public relations people. Maybe it’s because You’re simply trying to show me something I hadn’t seen yet. Maybe this was all to get me here. Maybe this was so You could open doors I didn’t even know existed. Maybe it was to teach me something. (Probably patience, I needed that one!) Maybe You were holding me until I was ready. Maybe You needed me to wait for something. Maybe You wanted to send me on a different path altogether. (I mean, I did change majors and that was a huge change to my plan! It wasn’t easy either! Tears were shed!) Maybe it’s because Your plan is just so much bigger than my own. Maybe it’s like what the ladies in my bible study talked about on Sunday and I was settling and You have something so much greater planned for me. One of them told us about this poster she saw of this little girl holding onto her tiny little teddy bear and she’s scared to give it to You. What she doesn’t realize is that You are holding a giant new teddy bear behind Your back, just waiting on her to give up the old one. Then another lady shared a story of how this girl had a fake pearl necklace she wore everywhere and she wouldn’t take it off and her daddy was holding a real set of pearls for her.
There was a picture that said: “Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.” Lord, no matter what path I take I hope it brings glory to You.
On Pinterest, there is this picture of a little girl and it says: “Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway.” How much simpler does life need to be explained? That picture got me. I think about it often! Then today, Lysa Terkeurst posted: “We want big directional signs from God. God just wants us to pay attention.” Well ok. You’ve got my attention.
So, that is my prayer today. I pray that I pay attention. I pray that I praise you in the hallway. I pray that I listen to your words. I pray that I go where you want me to go. I pray that I continue to grow in my walk with you. I pray that you lead me and guide me. I pray that I give it all to you. I pray that I give my plans to you. I pray that I give my future to you. I pray that I follow your will. I pray that I use the talents you gave me for your will and your plan and your glory. Thank you for, like the song says, giving me grace when I gave you doubts. Thank you for giving me faith when I gave you fears. Lord, you give me so much more than I could ever dream of or deserve. I pray that I lift my empty hands to you cause you’re all I need. I pray that you fill me up again. Lord, if you’re trying to show me something or show me a different door, I pray that I listen. I pray that I find it. I pray that I follow your plan. I pray that I follow you. I pray that I wait for you. I pray that while I am still, you give me peace. I pray that I guard my heart and what I let into it. I pray that I learn to be content. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.