This week may have been spring break, but it was no vacation. I let my insecurities get the best of me. I let the negative thoughts win. I let the devil try to break me. I realized You are the only one that can break me.
Not the guy who every time he speaks to me has something negative to say about women. Not my sinuses that make me wanna sleep until the pain stops. (I might be a baby when I don’t feel good.) Not the man that told me I was weak. Not even me who let that play on repeat in my head all week. Not the lady who was rude to me because she didn’t wanna wait. Not the person who rode my bumper in traffic and made me nervous. Not when my little took me to get ice cream and I dropped the entire cone in the parking lot. Not all the people that wanna make me feel small. Ya know what? Go ahead and let them try to make me small because I will just show them how big You are, Lord.
So, I’m gonna count 10 things holding me together.
1. My littles and grandlittles.
2. My entire Alpha Gam family.
3. My person and my best friend.
4. The ladies in bible study.
5. Graduation. (It’s just one more year. I can do it!)
6. Lots of prayer.
7. Spending time in Your word.
8. Singing along to the radio.
9. Starbucks gift cards.
10. And of course, Jessieeeee Lynnnnnnnn and Rebecca Nicole and our drives to Florida this week on my off day.
The world tried to break me this week. The world has tried to break me multiple times and it has tried a lot harder than it did this week. I’ve faced much worse, but ya know what? I’m still here. I learned something from it and pushed forward. I’m a fighter so, bring it on world. Keep coming for me. I will keep going to my knees for You, Lord. The only way I’m breaking is for You, Lord.
So, that is my prayer today. Lord, break me. Move me. Change me. Mold me. Lord, I am yours. Lord, use me for your glory. Put me aside. Put my selfishness aside. Put my pride aside. Let your light shine. Lord, let my life be a mirror that reflects your light. Let me be the lighthouse worker sharing your light all through the storm. Let me be the duracell batteries in the flashlight that keep going and going and going for you. Matthew 5:16 says: Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Lord, let your light shine through me. Let them see you. Let them see your glory. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.