Oh the grace reaching out for me.

I have been waiting to see Old Fashioned for months and on Valentine’s Day, I finally saw it! Honestly, I’ve been waiting to see it my whole life. It was exactly the kind of love story I’ve always wanted! I want that level of respect. The movie floored me. I was completely covered in tears by the end of it.

I’ve always been told that I’m crazy or weird. I’ve been told I have my head in the clouds I’ve been told that my belief in fairy tales will just leave me with standards too high. I’ve been told my whole life that love like that doesn’t exist. Which usually makes me think of Easton Corbin singing:

“Love don’t have to be a bunch of drama
A bunch of knock-down, drag-outs, crying in the rain”

Clay and Amber’s love story was centered around Your love. It started with the best of intentions and grew from there. I want that. I have dreamed of that kind of security and safety. I want doors opened. I want my hand held and my cheek kissed. I dreamed of that kind of care. I dreamed of that level of kindness. I dreamed of that 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 kind of love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

It’s not that because I’m a girl so I’m weak and can’t open my own door. It’s not that I’m a dainty flower that can’t be hurt. It’s not that I think I need to be put on some kind of pedestal. It’s that someone loves me enough to cherish me. It’s that vulnerability of someone knowing me so well that they know exactly how to hurt me the most and making a conscious choice not to. It’s that someone wants to protect me. It’s that someone wants to make my needs a priority. It’s that someone wants to be gentle with my heart. It’s that someone wants to encourage me and support my dreams. It’s that someone wants me to feel safe and secure. It’s that someone wants me to feel cherished and loved and cared for. It’s that tender, sweet, compassionate, selfless, kind of love that honors You, Lord. I want to do all that for him too. I want him to find home in me too. I want him to feel respected and cherished too. I want him to feel safe and secure. I want him to know he’s everything I’ve ever wanted and needed. It’s not that we think we deserve that kind of love, it’s that we know Your love and want to share it with those around us. It’s because of 1 John 4:19.

We love because he first loved us.

I want simple. I want a marriage where we are both focused on You. I want someone who wants to glorify You with me. I want someone to sit in church with every Sunday. I want someone to give up their Saturdays with me to do some kind of service activity. I want to live intentionally and with a purpose. I want us to forgive each other. I want us to grow in our faith together. I want us to grow closer to You.

Amber: “What do you want out of life?”

Clay: “To be decent. That’s it. A good person. I guess I just wasn’t destined for greatness.”

Amber: “I think the world has enough greatness. Not enough goodness.”

So, here is my prayer today. I pray that I let you guide my heart more. I pray that I watch what I let into my heart more. I pray that I guard my heart. I pray I stop hiding from you. I pray that I stop running from your love. I pray that I look to your grace. Thank you for the cross. Thank you for your love. Thank you forgiving me. Thank you for making me new. Thank you for reaching out for me. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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