I’m not there yet, but I will be.

I realized last year that life was short and my time was precious. So, to start this year off right, I set out with a list of goals that I thought were easily attainable.

I read this quote that said: “I know now that we never get over great losses; we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures.” So, that was goal #1 to be kinder. I’ve been thinking about this one for a while. I realized recently that Cinderella was always kind, even when people treated her horribly. So, that was my goal, to be more like Cinderella. When I was growing up, I was picked on, a lot. I thought that meant I needed to toughen up and take it. I started to stand up for myself, but in turn I lost some of my kindness. I was even called out on it. I thought I was just surviving, but I got asked where the sweet little girl that I used to be went. I wanted to scream that she was just trying to protect herself. What I later realized was that by putting up walls and keeping people at a distance I wasn’t growing and I didn’t like that part of myself. Even now as I try to get back some of that childhood innocence before I became so hardened, I get that same feedback as I did before. I was literally told that I was a doormat and they could see the footprints on me that people left. I realized then that I would rather face criticism for being too nice or too soft than too hard or too mean. I saw this quote on Pinterest that said: “throw kindness around like confetti.” It hasn’t been easy and sometimes when people talk about me I want to tell them they are stupid, but I would rather learn to show some grace and be kinder like Cinderella. I want to be a person that I’m proud of.

Goal #2 is to clean up my language. The older I got the more liberties I took with my language. I read: “If the words you spoke appeared on your skin, would you still be beautiful?” Clearly, I need to work a little harder on this one.

I have the “mouth of the South.” It is not something I am proud of. So, that it goal #3 to stop the gossip. I picked up that habit a long time ago and it just keeps getting worse. I have no problem keeping the big stuff a secret, but the moment you tell me a surprise or something trivial, I will tell everyone I know. “A real woman avoids drama, she knows her time is precious and she’s not wasting it on unimportant things.”

2015 started about 2 weeks ago and so far, I’ve struggled with these. My brother came home from a church trip and said he heard there that we should put action behind our prayers. So, that’s what I am trying to do with my list.

So, that is prayer for today. I pray that I take that list with me this year. I pray that I am constantly working for your glory. I pray that I am strong enough to put the effort in. I pray that I learn to put action behind my prayers. I pray that I learn to follow you more. I pray that I follow your example more and reach for you more. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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