My sister shared this video with me called Be Still from Trent Shelton. In the video he says “Too many times we let the fear of loneliness put us in situations that God never intended for us to be in.” Well call me out why don’t you. I mean, I am or have been on plenty of fish, match.com, christian mingle, and tinder. (Bless the heart of those on tinder, Lord they need you, myself included.) My sister tried to get me on farmersonly.com too. I am awkward and never left elementary school when it comes to dating. I am still waiting on one of my childhood best friends to tell me he loves me like my parents or Cory and Topanga from Boy Meets World. I smile and run away. (Sometimes literally run.) I confuse friendship with guys for liking them all the time and it works out soooo great. I can’t keep a guy friend to save my life because I always thought that you had to be friends before a relationship could happen.
I am so busy looking for the fairytale that I feel like I am missing something. Trent also said “Sometimes that holding pattern that you don’t want, is the blessing that your life needs. Holding patterns are necessary because it allows God to properly prepare you for what He has for you.” Part of me is like “well how much preparing do I need?” The other part quickly responds with “clearly a lot.” Trent also mentioned “He first wants to make you His before He gives you to someone else.” Well how can I argue with that?
“You are joy, You are joy
You’re the reason that I sing
You are life, you are life
In You death has lost it’s sting
Oh, I’m running to Your arms
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
And nothing compares
To Your embrace”
I have never been in a real relationship before. I had those boyfriends growing up that were just kinda in name only. We would talk on the phone or write notes in class but that was pretty much it. I have no experience at all. My parents were high school sweethearts and by the time they were my age they were married and already had me. I wanted that. (Maybe not the kid part, I’m not ready for that yet. I’d settle for a dog though.) I get so caught up in my own timing that I forget that God has bigger plans for my life. Or maybe it’s not about me. Maybe he needs more time. Maybe my future husband just isn’t ready yet.
So, that is my prayer. I pray that I learn to see your timing is better than my own. I pray that you are working on my heart. I pray that you are working on his heart. I pray for guidance, encouragement, and protection for him. I pray that he is running to you too. And as always I pray for my family and sorority sisters. I pray for my university. I pray for guidance for our government, church, and school leaders. I pray for protection for our troops. I pray for all of those that need you now and for those that haven’t met you yet. In Jesus’ name, Amen.